This is the start of keeping a journal, diary, blog, or whatever comes out at, what I feel is, a nudging from God. I believe He is pushing me in the direction of writing about how my journey of a faith-walk unfolds. I have been walking with Jesus for a while now, but this is yet another new step because I made a decision and this month it was completed. By the world’s standards, the choice was “stupid” or foolish. The choice was impractical and didn’t make sense. The choice was to leave a well-paying job and start a new chapter….
I started working at this job over two and a half years ago and it is the job that brought me to this city. Without going into great detail about history (after all this is my walk of faith not my journey into the past) the job was not fulfilling for me. That said, I stayed. I persevered. I fought through days and situations at this job that, for most, may have otherwise resulted in possible expletive-filled, emotionally charged exits. I stayed. I persevered. I fought. During the course of my employment, both my parents and both my cats died. I was promoted twice. I said goodbye to a boss for whom I had worked for six years at two different jobs. And through it all, I continued to develop my relationship with God and to seek His plan for my life. I would be remiss not to say that this job was God’s gift to me for as long as I have had it. Not only was it a generous way for me to more than make my ends meet, but I have learned many, many things about myself, about leadership, and about who He is in the midst of challenging and painful situations. I learned that I can walk through so much, provided I ground myself in who He is. I learned that I am so much stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. I learned that my administrative gifts were valued by people. Above all, I learned that this was not the job for me and that money does not mean everything….that I do have a purpose and though I am not fully sure what it is, I do know that God is sure and He will lead me to it because it is part of His plan. He will lead me into fulfillment in His purposes.
So…I have stepped out in faith, yet again. It looks different this time as compared with the previous experience of leaving a job without having another one. This time, I don’t have my parents as a “fall back plan”. This time, it is just me and God. Granted, I do have a good savings, but it is not a limitless supply. I have a mortgage and a car payment and human fears about bills. But I have a God who is so much bigger than any fear I will ever have. I am willing to give up anything for Him, because He gave up everything for me. Obviously it would be great to keep my house and my car and not have to get a roommate, but I am willing to do what it takes to follow Him, whatever that looks like. So this is the introduction to what will be a new journey of faith for me.
God, I invite you to do as you will with me during this period and to strengthen me with your love, joy, and peace, should the journey get rough. Help me to be honest in my days of writing. Comfort me and continue to confirm that I am no longer an orphan. Show me what it really means to be Fathered by You, the Father of all.
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